I haven't written in this blog in what seems an eternity. I was using a different blog but forgot the bloody sign-in info. *rolls eyes* A little voice inside my head whispers, "Hey! that's what happens when you get old!" Me? Old? Nahhhhhh.... my little voice needs to hushie.
It has been a very tumultuous time for me personally of late. So many losses, near losses, and potential losses in my life at the moment. My wonderful mother-in-law of twenty some-odd years, Lillian, died at the age of 98 in June, 2009. She lived a long, full, wonderful life and was ready to leave this earthly life. I'm just not certain we were all ready to let her go just yet. I miss you, Lillian. Then, toward the end of 2009, I learned that my ex-husband, Gene Brawn had died. Gene will be missed mightily. Next, I lost my beloved sister, Sharon, in January of this year. Sharon had just turned 60 with a couple of months to spare before her death. This loss rattled me to the core. Sharon and I were extremely close growing up and I will miss her every day that I remain on this earth.
Recently, my mother was taken quite ill and was given up for lost by the doctors when our family agreed to put her on a respirator. After a few days, she began breathing over the respirator and fought like the scrapper I've always known she is, recovering enough to have the respirator removed. While it has been a long, hard-fought battle, with quite a few gains and setbacks along the way, she has been released from the hospital and transferred to a skilled nursing/physical rehabilitation facility to get her back on her feet to return home. We are all delighted with her amazing progress.
Watching my mother's remarkable battle with this illness brought several important issues to the forefront of my mind. Firstly, her intense will to live overcame incredible obstacles. While I always knew she was strong, I was amazed with her valiant struggle, against all odds. Secondly, the end of life decisions a family must make when there is no advance directive, except for her statement at an earlier point that she wanted all medical means used in that instance, hit home for me during her illness. I made a few personal decisions for how I wish to be treated in that situation, which had never been clear to me before then, and I communicated those wishes to my husband and family. Nothing makes things clearer than while staring the issue straight in the face.
Meanwhile, at home, we are nursing our Newfie, our beloved companion, family member, and friend, Scarlett, through a rather serious bout of Cushings Disease. She has a tumor on her adrenal gland, as well one possibly on her pituitary. She appears to be doing pretty well, although I'll be happier when we can stop giving her the medication that essentially kills her adrenal gland. She's still her loving, slobbery, goofy self, though bent by her years a bit (but aren't we all) and her illness. We're working hard to keep her comfortable and happy for her remaining time with us.
All of these things have affected me deeply and taught me many things. I suppose we never stop learning life's hardest lessons, though I might like a break from them for just a bit.
Till next time...
Love,
Cindi
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